Unrestricted anger can result in a “rage” rhat
can cause us to harm ourselves or people
around us. I know you’ve heard of “road rage”
and “acts of passion” that resulted in injury or
death, sometimes to innocent parties.
Anger can also damage family relationships,
social relationships and even cost you your job.
Popular approaches to anger include “taking a
timeout” or “punching a pillow” to vent your
anger. Some suggest that you “scream” or use
exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict
resolution, how to be assertive, and how to
remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.
These ideas may be good and effective when a
threat is immediate and action is required.
There is a far-more-common form of anger that
occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional
response to the memory or recollection of an
offense suffered in the past – sometimes many
years in the past. When these memories pop
into your mind as negative thoughts; and we
mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can
become just like the original incident all over
Expressing one’s anger is important, one only
needs to do so in a manner that is appropriate
and does not cause any one else, or even one’s
self, harm. The following are anger
management tips to keep you and those around
you emotionally and physically safe.
Buy yourself some time before reacting.
There may be instances where you realize that
your outbursts of anger are having a negative
effect on your friends, family and work
colleagues, it is important therefore to take a
little time out. If you find your anger is boiling
up and will explode any minute, count from one
to ten. This helps prior to actually leaving or
reacting to the current angry situation at hand.
Calm, calm, calm yourself.
Whether you are angry or not, it is always
helpful to do some breathing-deep exercises.
You could try to visualize a scene that is
relaxing. You could also try to repeat a word or
a phrase that is calming for you. Repeat this as
often as you possibly could. The word or phrase
could be as simple as, relax or chill out.
You could also try listening to some calming
music, do some painting, jot your thoughts out
on a journal just to let your feelings out. You
could also do some yoga.
Express yourself appropriately
It is really not advisable to stew. When you are
angry, immediately acknowledge and own your
anger and try to kick over alternative means of
expression. If it is quite impossible to address
your own anger in a manner that is safe and
pertinent to the situation. Talk it out with a
friend, family, therapist or counselor or any
other person you think you could trust.
As much as possible, think twice before saying
anything or acting in the heat of an angry
moment. Explore the future ramifications.
Work with, not work against.
Realize that it is always best to work directly
with the particular personor situation that has
angered you in order to identify the possible
solutions of a particular situation.
Hold yourself accountable.
Deep down, using statements that start with an
‘I’ help in describing a particular problem and
so assists in holding yourself accountable
rather than unnecessarily placing the blame on
someone else. You may say, ‘I am upset’ rather
than, ‘You made me upset’
In actuality, no one has more control of your
feelings than you. Do not let others make you
angry without your express permission. You
can choose to be angry, and you can also
choose not to be angry as well.
Try not to carry resentment or grudge.
Holding resentment is actually unproductive
and unhelpful in the long run. It is heavy and it
holds you back. Believe it or not, it is always
easier to forgive and let go. Resentments can
linger for years after the event in your mind,
when the person who affected you has long
disappeared from the scene.
To Your Success,
- Is there righteous anger ever? (teachingsofmasters.wordpress.com)
- being angry. (thingsusedtobedifferent.wordpress.com)
- Coping with Anger (borderlionblog.wordpress.com)
- What Do You Do With Your Anger? (spiritualtea.wordpress.com)